Chuchu

Stop Spamming Redundant Shit Or Advs In My Comment Section!!!

2011-05-20T10:49:00.003+08:00

GET IT???

Fuck, my blog may be died but that doesn't mean you anonymous losers can keep spamming advs and dunno what other kind of irrelevant bullshit as comments ok???

Even if I'm not blogging anymore, I would like to maintain my blog as it is.

Man... Where's the respect nowsadays. -_-

Jeez. Can't even stop blogging in peace.
( Lol. The irony. )

On a sidenote, omg!!! I lost all my vox blog links because the stupid vox closed down a long time ago. If any of you guys still ( by some miracle ) happen to drop by... please please leave down your blog link k?? Thanks... Although I think after I haven't been blogging for what seems like so many decades ago, its pretty unlikely anyone will still see this post.

Oh well... no harm trying.

P.S. I wonder how everyone has been doing... I wonder if Jamie Martin geckos are doing fine @_@ and him too...

3 More Holes

2010-01-19T08:41:00.004+08:00

Yes.

Just very recently punctured three holes on my right ear. Been waiting and wanting to do this for so long but just didn't have the moolah to do so.

The damage for the three holes was 300 dollars plus. ( One stupid hole is worth a 100 bucks )Wtf right. Why so expensive? Cause I am so suay to have freaking sensitive ears and can only go to B*dazzle to pierce them. Now actually the cost is for the earrings only, I think the piercing is actually free or something. Anyway that should be the case la because the earrings are so bloody costly already.

See, so for those people who can go pierce the 10 dollars kind, you are damn lucky la! Envy you guys sia... T_T

Pic!

The top three earrings are the new piercings.

The teeny weeny pink jewel is actually more expensive than the bigger white ones. Wtf. But I couldn't put the white one there because it would be too big for that part of the ear.

The pink jewel is also just a replacement for something else I have in mind. But can only change the ear stud after a month cause gotta wait for it to heal first.

Pretty happy with the whole thing. One unfortunate thing I realise though... is that I haven't been able to get a good sleep since the piercings!

Because I punched so many holes, its freaking painful to lay on the right side now! Wtf la. I know just lay on the left side or straight would pretty much solve the problem but when I sleep I cannot control which side I turn right?? Then when I turn on the right, I'll wake up cause it hurts so bad nia.

Oh well. One month later and it should be alright. Just tahan for now.

Ah. For those who have free time right, can go to this blog

http://hornyangmoh.blogspot.com/2010/01/u-wash-didipoosie-first-when-going-2.html

I always wash my hair first.

It was quite accurate for me ba. Cause always daydreaming Wahaha. Wtf.

Me. The Smallest Gal at the Smallest Bar. LOL.

2010-01-01T05:46:00.004+08:00

Everytime I stop blogging, there's only one reason why.

It's always because I've found a job and started working.

I really admire those people who are still able to find the time to blog even though they are working. For me is like since I work 6 days a week, my one miserable off day is spent catching up on sleep. And I feel that if you work 6 days, 1 day off feels like nothing. It just whooshes by just like that and its time to work again before you know it. Fuck sian la.

Then in whatever little spare time I have, is mostly spent on the cats. They've gotten so used to having me around 24/7. I think that they miss me when I go to work. Even though Bianbian is usually aloof, she hovers around the door everytime I leave the room. And comes and kneads on my blanket when I'm sleeping.

JuuJuu too. She still has the habit to come and lay beside my head and nibble on my face. Diao.

Oh well, no choice also. Have to earn money to support you fattys. Otherwise how you guys stay cute and fat hor. Lol.

Anyway, I found a job as a bar waitress. The job's certainly been ( for lack of a better word ) interesting so far. Entertaining at times too I guess.

I have three japanese bosses. Who are all men. And I'm the only waitress at my bar because it's a newly opened one. Which is really an advantage for me because this also means no other female around. No chances of anyone bitching, backstabbing or sabotaging me at work. Phew! But then again, catering to three different bosses is not easy. Especially when each is so different in character from another.

It gets really frustrating sometimes but I think I have gotten sorta used to it by now.

When I have more time ( Unlikely! ), I may post some pictures up and all.

Now is time to go back to sleep... Zzz

Part 2: Melt

2009-11-14T21:50:00.002+08:00

Be prepared to be bombarded with loads of photos. I hope your internet speed is better than average if not then you lag to death.

Anyway, comments will be kept short yah since so many pictures.

Went for the lunch buffet one. For once we were on time. They were suppose to be open for the buffet at 12pm but then they were still preparing the food or something and were damn late. And we couldn't even go in to seat first, asked to seat outside somemore. Knn.

So took afew pictures outside while waiting. Got hole at the top of the building. Thats why got sun shining in.

Another pic with Pea.

A glimpse of paradise from outside. XD

That's the dessert section. * Drools*

I wanted to go in to take photos first before people started on the buffet but got chased away. =[

When we could finally go in, the service people came and wanted to give a tour of the place and intoduction of the different sections. Wtf. So waste of time. I slipped away and went to the dessert section which Melt's is best known for to take photos instead.

Chocolate fondue! Got cute star shape dunno what to dip in somemore! So much better than the one at Shangri La, The Line. Wah, that place suck until cannot suck already. The food like cooked by trainee chefs like that. Pay a hefty price for shitty food. Ccb.

Then move on to take pics of the cakes before anyone pokes into them and ruins it.

While I am taking pics, everybody else was already digging into the main course section after their own stupid tour and intro. Oh well.

Was looking forward to trying this one. Love tarts. =]

Don't remember seeing this one after I headed back here the second time. I think the cakes once gone get replaced by some other ones or are just gone.

Mocca! I like coffee flavoured stuff just as much as I like coffee.

You should have seen the inside of this one ( forgot to take pic after people poked into it but anyway it was kinda messy ) it looked absolutely scrumptious! But I was already too full and so couldn't stuff this in. Though I received feedback that it was really good. =]

Pear?? Yuck.

Real life strawberry shortcake! Ok thats sounds weird. But then I have never seen the actual cake before except the cartoon name strawberry shortcake and the strawberry shortcake growing on my trees in pet society. Wtf.

Strawberry rhubarb crumble.

Ahhhhh. This was the one I told myself I must try first of all the cakes there.

Ok open these glass drawers ( I dunno what else to call it but that la ) and you will see these cute little cups of different kinds of mousse.

Second drawer.

There was also a third glass drawer but this one cannot open one. Only can admire the pretty cakes inside. =[

Che. Made me so excited to see this chocolate macaroon cake but cannot eat one.

Giant macaroon stuffed with raspberries! Also cannot eat. Boo.

Malay Kuay.

Looks nice but smells so bad! Like something rotting like that.

This one nice. Sticky rice with mango on top. =D

Close up pic.

What is brussels??

All the different kinds of things you can choose to put in your waffle.

Best bread pudding ever!!!

We got this dessert before anyone else did because while I was hanging around the dessert section still taking pics, I saw the bread pudding sign but nothing there and said out loud why got nothing there and the pastry chef who was there busy doing his thing, heard me and said cause just out of the oven and still hot but he'll give it to us early.

Yay! =D

I like it so much partly cause it doesn't have alot of raisins like other bread pudding. Cause I hate raisins. But there was only like 3 in the whole thing and they were the white ones which are not so sweet like the black ones.

Awww... I miss this already. =[

At last moving onto main course. This is the slices of raw fishes which I don't touch. At all.

Buan tahan that jelly jelly kinda texture, only make me feel like puking.

First time seeing three kinds of noodles to make soba.

Smoked duck! Which I have also never seen before. Really Melt seems to have alot of food I first time see.

Almost forgot to mention that the day I went here was Indian themed food... which I'm not actually enthusiastic over...

I wouldn't mind if it's different kinds of roti prata instead of curries. =P

My weird concoction.

Gula melaka with coconut and condensed milk along with sweet corn and atap seeds.

The smoked duck along with other smoked stuff. I like eat smoked things maybe cause its salty.

My birthday hong bao. =]

Suddenly while I was stuffing my mouth full, the pastry chef came over with this!

Chocolate pudding with vanilla bean ice cream topped with mango sauce.

I think the chef kinda just made this for us because no one else in that whole place got this except for us.

Muhaha, the benefits of being a gal blogger! Complimentary desserts somemore.

Yeah, Life is Good.

The tarts. The strawberry one was so much more better. I wished I had more room in my tummy to eat more of it but no space liao. The walnut one was kinda disappointing as it was dry and hard .

Mango mousse and pink colour sago with coconut milk inside. Mango mousse was ok. The pretty pink one was awful though.

My kickass boots. =P

Finishing up with the ice creams. Must try the vanilla bean one ok?? It is damn bloody good.

Ok now I can go to sleep dreaming about strawberry crumbles and ice creams. Yum.....

Part 1: The 10 dollars Buffet

2009-11-12T18:32:00.013+08:00

Oookkk actually I was planning to post ALL the pictures taken for my birthday together but too many!! Look at all of them makes me feel mentally exhausted already. And I am feeling lazy. So...

Tomorrow then do the rest... Heh.

Therefore, start first with the 10 dollars buffet. ( Shiok right 10 bucks only! ) Anyway who want to know about the expensive one when got cheap one hor?

Ok, so if you are one of those people who are pokai ( like me! ) but still want to eat buffet, enjoy good food and like japanese food then maybe this buffet may be your thing.

It's a place called Curry Favor at novena square at the top most level. And.....

Here's a pic of the signboard explaining more about the buffet so I can talk less. =P

Ok ok... so it is 80 cents more. But no big deal right? Better than nothing. Lol.

Not happy it is 80 cents more than you can go find cheaper one la.

Part of the reason why it's cheap is because it's only available during the weekdays.

And notice the time when it starts and closes? ( Very important ok! )

Don't say I didn't warn you but if you wanna go eat here, you best be there when it starts. Don't think you can reach there at 12.30 or 1 and still have a nice meal because one very fucked up thing about novena is the bloody working crowd.

When lunch hour comes, you will find yourself not only competing with the shoppers around novena BUT also all the working people.

Nabeh, is like everywhere you wanna go and eat is already full of the working people. Then no more good and cheap place to eat left.
What's left is those expensive restaurants where nobody wants to go to.

The stupid office buildings there should build canteen also mah.

Anyway this is the second time I came here to eat. And I made the mistake of coming at 12.45 pm. It was packed and all the nice good food were gone already. The people here don't exactly stock back the food once it's gone. First come, first serve.

My first plate of food.

Very sad loh! The chicken curry no more chicken, left all the skin floating around only. Wtf.

Then the minced beef curry one suppose to have potatoes and carrots, left only the carrots. ( I like potatoes but don't like carrots ) Suay.

My favourite fried calamari rings also not there. Replaced by some lao ya onion rings.

The seafood there is good one. The calamari ring is not the hard kind that bite already the texture like rubber like that but is chewy and soft one. Ebi there also good.

Even though the variety is not alot ( what you expect for 10 bucks eh? ), but mostly whatever food is there taste good.

Moving on...

My friend's plate.

Some of the pictures may be too bright. When I use flash and take usually ends up too blinding then when I don't use it's too dark.

Zzz.

Pics of us!

Me!

Fel!

My second plate. Which actually doesn't look much different from the first. Nothing left mah.

As you can see the chicken skin is still there. -_-

I love this pic! It looks as if I'm wearing fake lashes but I'm not.

Last plate.

I know I am so weird for putting my chicken with my brownies. But I don't care if my main course and desserts are on the same plate as long as they are not touching each other.

Fel finishing up too.

All poofed. Eat too full.

One more thing about novena... it is bloody freaking cold there.

Check out what I wore...

I was freezing my butt off the whole time.

Turning 23..... Damn I feel old.

2009-11-07T10:16:00.011+08:00

Best gift ever from my sis! Cat ears Hehe.

Ok so today I'm officially 23 years old. Wahliao, like bloody old loh. Still feel like a 16 year old. Wtf.

Everytime people ask me when's my birthday, I always tell them to just remember the 7-eleven store can already. Its easier to remember by that way right?

Anyway off to eat buffet later. I adore buffets. ( Who doesn't? lol ) So much fun being able to choose between many different kinds of food. I do like variety because I'm the kind of person that halfway through my noodles or whatever food I'm eating, will get sian of it one.

But me having the hamster stomach that I have is like the most not worth it person to eat buffet. Because I never eat until it's worth the money. Like I say... hamster stomach mah. Bo pian.

Yesterday I went to this place that had a buffet for only 10 bucks though. Fucking cheap. I think its pretty worth it even for a person like me who eat like hamster.

Today going to eat a more not so value one. But once a year only so should be ok la.

Took mega alot of pictures but they'll be up another day. Enjoy first mah =P

Anyway my cat friend over at http://cats4meows.blogspot.com/ gave me this Honest Scrap Award whereby I gotten list 10 interesting and honest facts about myself. And then pass this on to 7 blogging people.

Hmm, dunno what would be deem as interesting to you guys so I thought about listing little known facts. I had fun thinking what to write though.

1. I had a car accident when I was young. Actually it was this singtel van. I ran across the road and got banged by it. And I flew several feet away and landed on my butt... still holding on to my school bag and file. The impact broke the van's front screen and instead of worrying more about whether I was fine, I kept worrying about whether I had to pay singtel for breaking their van's front screen. Wtf.

2. I also felt very awkward around guys when I was young and I covered it up by adopting this fierce attitude and beating the guys. Scary I know. I've stopped doing that since then.

3. I've been in abusive relationships since I was 18 years old till recently.

4. Most girls don't seem to like me much. ( I dunno why ok?? ) For some of them it is like instant dislike on first sight. The guys on the other hand have no problem with me though. Weird.

5. Er... I'm 1.48 in height? Cannot think of anything liao.

6. I have a sensitive stomach. ( Just like my cats wtf ) I am not suppose to eat any dairy food products, spicy, oily and heaty food. But if I had listened to the doctor and did just that, I would not be writing this now and you would be visiting my funeral. I live to eat yah and not eat to live.

7. I had my tonsils removed.

8. Everytime I walk in the rain I never get sick one.

9. I love the night and loathe the day.

10. There was this one time when a ex and me were fooling around on his bed when it broke and came crashing down. It would have been hilarious if I hadn't been laying stun tio in it's debris.

Ok, so that's about it and I now pass this onto 7 blogging people who will be...

Fel
Gin
Mei'er
Twilight's Muse
Kareltje
Karina
Kesapilo

The people listed above are not obliged to do this meme if they are too busy or don't want to. Have fun if you are doing it though. =]

Yay! I'm not the only nymphomaniac around Wtf

2009-11-04T11:08:00.017+08:00

Recently got to talk online to a long term girlfriend of mine who is studying overseas. And I'm glad I got to because seldom do I see her online. ( She must be thinking the same thing of me lol )

Fuck do I miss having her around. I think she is like the only girlfriend I know of who I can talk to about the most seriously obscene stuff and she wouldn't even bat a eyelid. She'll even share some stuff about equally obscene shit back with me.

And I'm ridiculously happy to know that we're both nymphomaniacs. ( Maybe so that I feel that bit more normal...... Ahhh who am I kidding. )

Eh girl... remember to share tips ok? Haha. Half Kidding. Wtf.

Anyway have become so addicted in reading other people's blog lately. Especially TMI Thursdays from LiLu. Freaking interesting stuff ok. I can't stop reading all the entries. I would actually like to participate but then I'm not sure I want people reading that kinda stuff about me. Yet. People who know me would totally freak out or run away screaming. Anyway who cares so long as I get to enjoy reading other people's entries.

On to more bo liao topics,

I did my nails.

No money to let people paint so have to paint my own nails. Wtf.

At first I did a lavender purple base thing. Then decided it looked abit boring so I added silver and pink glitter on top.

Heng it turned out quite ok ah. Abit christmasy even. =D

And had Pastamania's banana dessert pizza for dinner.

I heart sweet stuff. =]

Especially when there's chocolate involved.

The first time I ate this though, it did not leave a good impression. But yishun pastamania rocks man.

The only thing that spoiled my yummylicious experience was that my bloody pizza was cold. =[

I was walking home happily with my earphones plugged in and pippin hot pizza in hand when suddenly somebody was walking beside me and talking away.

I immediately turned to the side ready to give my best fuck off look but then the talking walking creature was this incredibly cute guy ( with spiky hair! woots! ) wearing a red shirt which only served to make him look more hotter.

He said he just wanted to do this survey and I thought why not so I did his little survey and he started yakking somemore about I'm not sure what. I wasn't really paying attention. I only know he was one of those supposedly annoying prudential insurance people. After chit chatting awhile I finally got to go off.

And this is why my poor pizza turned cold. Boo.

The First Time I'm Growing...

2009-11-02T07:00:00.004+08:00

Taller? ( Na uh that is never gonna happen. )

Then shorter? ( Hell no! That is technically impossible... or is it? )

You'll never guess that this is the first time in my life I'm growing...

A plant.

Yup, a plant. Wtf right?

Now you see I never like plants of any kind in the house because all they do is attract bugs. Who likes ants and worms and fugly looking creepy things with what looks like fur on them crawling around the place. Ew. ( I know this first hand because my family keeps plants in the house. -_-)

I like them so long as they're outside for me to admire. Then they can attract all the bugs they want I don't care.

So why the hell am I growing a plant now? It's even in my room.

Because it's cat grass I specially ordered for the meow meows!

It's suppose to improve their digestion, hairball problems and stuff like that. And they seriously need that what with their sensitive stomachs and all. ( Why is cat grass...called cat grass? Not the same like those growing outside meh. Why is there no dog grass? Wtf.)

Anyway when it got delivered, I was pretty excited ( my first plant ok! ) and when I opened the packaging, this was what it looked like...

At first I thought it looked ok but then I took a closer look at it and decided it looked gross instead.

The soil looked like it had worms and maggots in there! Does it not look that way from the side?

Never mind. For the sake of my cats I will keep the maggot looking plant thing.

So I watered it and it remained looking the same way it did for 3 long days.

And then!

These alien looking cute furry legged things were popping out from the seeds!

Awww...

Next these stem things started coming out of the maggot soil too.

And more popped out and they grew taller...

I was wondering what they will look like in the end.

And then they really looked like the grass growing downstairs loh.

Wtf. All grass look the same izzit.

I dunno what I was expecting them to look like. -_-"

Juu having her first sniff of the grass. She really likes it.

This is like the final outcome of the grass. I think this is the tallest it can get.

Juu at the side yakking the poor grass out along with it's roots.

The grass looks kinda tattered and torn from all the yakking and nibbling so I kinda snipe the ends of the grass and feed them to the cats so they don't end the life of the poor plant by pulling the roots out too.

Don't mind my enthusiasm for something that seems so simple. I can get excited over the littlest of things.

On a sidenote,

There was this one interview I went to lately where the boss was this Japanese guy with his shirt unbuttoned half way ( so sexy Lol ) and I thought the interview went fine till we reached the end of it and I got up.

And the boss looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time or something like that, I dunno it was just some sort of weird look, and he exclaimed... How tall are you?

I said Sir I'm not tall at all, I'm very short. 1.48 only. ( OMG. Excuse me while I go knock my head on the wall. )

At which he proceeded to scribble 1.48 at the top of my resume. FML.

Thank you to all of you guys who gave a damn.

2009-10-29T04:09:00.003+08:00

Really. =]

I can't say how much I appreciate the kind comments given to me in the previous post I made. Every single comment. Because to me it just shouts out Hey Somebody Cared! I didn't write that post with the intention of hoping for people to pity or feel sympathy for me or anything like that.

I was just having one of my down moments. Hence the depressy posts. I'll tend to rant and whine like this once in a while. Bear with me or you could just skip those depressy posts. It's perfectly fine.

.........
...........
............ I still can hardly believe there are people out there who care. It is almost mind boggling. Not like some people ( living in the same house as me and others in my life ) who couldn't give a flying fuck about me.

Anyway, I recently just watched another video on youtube which is like the coolest thing ever to have happened in singapore! I'm serious. Wahliao nothing interesting ever happens here la because people here are too conservative and not open minded and then they come up with something like this! Actually HTC did. But gudos to all the dancers who dared to performed. I just wished I was there. Shucks.

It was so bloody successful that there was even a part 2 at wisma. Which I missed too. Wtf. =[

Me wants the electric hot blue shorts. XD Haha anyway I think it takes alot of effort ok to dance in the sun ( 1st video ) dressed like normal passer bys with bags and all.
Imagine. Have to dance around carrying a haversack ( 2nd video ) and for some of the dancers, holding the HTC handphone somemore. Props to them all man.

Being Rejected

2009-10-27T15:20:00.005+08:00

What do you do with your life when you are regarded as the useless stupid one of the two daughters your parents have had.

I guess nothing. Just get on with life. And don't tell me to prove that I'm not the useless stupid one because I can't suddenly be a smarty pants and grow brains.

Why am I the useless stupid one? Simply because I'm not academically inclined. Not good with books. Because I didn't accomplish anything. Make something out of myself. Didn't end up being something like my mum or dad. Which is like a accountant and lecturer. Instead I went and learned useless shitty stuff like nail and make up stuffy. I tried learning accounts to please them. But a quarter through the course I realised I just couldn't get through any farther anymore. I just didn't understand. Dad maybe could have helped but I wouldn't want him teaching me anything after the horrible experience of him giving tuition to me when I was a kid still stuck in my head. Non-stop asking of why was I so stupid.

Haiz.

I wanted to learn driving. Get a driver's license. Told mum that and all she did was pretend I didn't exist and said my sis should go learn driving. Here I was talking about me and all she could focus on was my sis. And sis doesn't even wanna learn driving. Diao.

I wanted to study somemore. But mum felt it is a waste of money to sponser me. Having enough retirement funds for herself was more important. I guess it is.

Growing up, I always felt insecure and if my parents thought me stupid then I must be pretty dumb. Never liked staying home because I felt like I didn't fit in. Always told people that I was the black sheep of the family. Been my dream since forever to move outta this place. Still working towards that dream.

Nothing has changed much since I was young. Still the black sheep. But I can only be me. No matter how much they don't like who I am. Thats all I can ever be. Slutty clothes and all too.

Catnip Infused Bubble Gun!

2009-10-26T11:11:00.007+08:00

Been so busy with some study/work crisis that I haven't had time to update much.

Anyway, got a little treat for the cats when I came across this interesting gadget in a pet store.

It's Bubble Kitty!!! XD

I know.. wtf right. Mum said outright that it was a total waste of money. ( So says the person who keeps buying new toys for her dogs every week. )

I would think it was a waste of money too but I knew the cats would love it and they deserve a little fun in their mundane lives. After all, staying in my room 24/7 can't be very interesting. ( They have to cause mum's dogs are ill mannered spoilt psychotic barky morons who will take my cats as their toys. So the stupid creatures get the whole house while my cats only get to stay in my room. Can't wait for the day I move out of here. Sheesh. )

JuuJuu especially loves chasing after the bubbles. Till her stamina runs out and she starts panting that is. She's mega fat now at 7 months old. I don't ever remember Bianbian being so big and fat until after she got sterilised. Then she suddenly exploded into this giant black cat. No more that skinny little kitten.

Can't imagine what Juu will look like when she's one year old... or maybe I don't wanna imagine... I just hope I will still be able to carry her by then. >.<

Bianbian suddenly started salivating yesterday. Until her whole chest fur is wet somemore. I was so horrified I went online to google cat drooling and found that maybe ingesting something toxic or teeth, gum problems may make a cat suddenly start drooling too. The worse condition would be some liver problem. Waaaa... Not that suay ba. My ke lian Bianbian.

Going to bring her to the vet later. Decided to try a new place at ang mo kio because that stupid Kasey Tan is fully booked today. He is always fully booked one. The recep tried to make me see Denise Ang again but I die also don't ever want to see her knncb face ever. For the rest of my miserable life. Hope this new place will be alright and the staff not as stuck up as those at mount pleasant springside.

Bianbian: Why so hard to find a good vet one? Poor me. =(

Haiz. I hope it's nothing serious... and also hope it's not going to be another period of one problem after another like not too long ago whereby the cats paid a visit to the vet every week. Sigh.

Boxer-briefs

2009-10-14T20:00:00.005+08:00

Did you know that such a thing existed? I didn't even realise that there was a in-between stage of boxers and briefs called boxer briefs till recently. Well I guess it should be ok for me not to know since I'm a gal after all? Wtf.

Anyway... I think I have an idea of what it looks like but just didn't realise it had a name. Cool. Now I know.

Found it out from watching a damn youtube video. Talking about what gals like to see on guys the most of all. Guess which one is the gals favourite?

Turns out most gals like seeing guys wear boxer-briefs the most. Second is boxers. And briefs isn't even the last choice ( going commando is more prefered than briefs even ) because only little boys, very old men and your dads wear briefs.

Which is true. My dad does wear briefs. Thereby automatically making briefs a huge turn off for me to see on any guy I am with. Eww.

And for the average guy... I think boxers or boxer briefs are more flattering than briefs. Unless you have a really hot looking bod like a calvin klein's model otherwise you will just be squeezing all your fats out of your underwear. Which is not a pleasant sight right.

Hmm... dunno what the guys prefer though.. shall go around randomly asking..

P.S. If you are going to leave a comment. please say what you prefer and why. Thanks. =]]]

Yes! It is the fringe! Stupid title...

2009-10-11T05:36:00.009+08:00

Very happy and touched at something I just read... Made my day. =D

Been rather moody lately cause still sick and breathless ( still yawning to breathe, wtf ) and all... But thank God that there still exists little things that can cheer a person up.

Really feel like moaning... or maybe it should be groaning? There's still a giant pile of backdated pictures I have yet to load... so many things I want to write down and remember but apparently months later, still have not got to it yet... haiyo feel so sian to load months ago de pics now. Haiz. Oh well. I will get to it! Eventually... i guess...

Oh and first photo of me with 'the new fringe' up. Heh. =P

Taken with Gin at this place where it is sooooo easy to take good looking pics. Lol.

So what do you think? Better? Worse looking off? Haha oh well at least its fun. Though freaking irritating sometimes. Especially when the wind blows. Then I have to grab and hold onto my hair like its a bloody wig.

Random thoughts of the day

2009-10-04T06:57:00.008+08:00

1: OMG! Having a fringe is actually so fun, who knew that?? Cuse' me but I haven't had a fringe since one of my ex-hairstylist Matthew tried cutting me a fringe that he said looks like Rainie's ( as in that Rainie. You know who right? ) but I just think it fucking looks like someone dumped a bowl on top my head and cut around it. ( Thanks ah Matthew! NOT! ) It is a whole new world to me having to see things through my fringe.

2: OMG. Got fucking giant zit on my face. Eyesore loh. Why the hell do zits even exist???

3: When am I going to get to travel again.... When oh when oh when...

4: Why people's cats no problem one but mine got like one million and one problem??? Not that I don't love them... I do... But why liddat one???

5: Why do the authors of those bloody love story books I always read make sex out to be some world exploding, earth shattering, soul changing, etc, kinda shit when it is nothing like that in reality? How can they deceive all the innocent gals reading their books??

6: Am I the only one in the world who needs to yawn to breathe properly? Only during periods when I'm having difficulty breathing that is.

Tribute to Momo

2009-10-02T18:59:00.005+08:00

After four plus long years... Momo, my mottled dwaft hamster, finally passed away on 18 September 2009..

He lived an extraordinary long life. Longer than what most dwaft hamsters in singapore live to anyway. Usually the average dawft hamster here can only live till one plus to two years at most. They live such short lives because of a serious case of inbreeding.

He will also be the very last hamster I will ever keep. I now think a hamster life in a cage is just such a sad way to live. I'll rather they just be left alone from where they came from... be it the fields or wherever. At least it bets living afew years in a boring cage having no freedom and just having a stinky wheel to run in. I think all small animals should just be left in the wild and not kept as pets... just as birds are meant to fly in the air.

Also its too heartbreaking to keep a living thing you have feelings for only to have it pass away two years later...

Anyway... here's just afew pictures of Momo.

This was when I first got Momo. He slept in this same house for four years.

Here he is picking the litter and stuffing his housey with it. He always like to stuff the whole house so full of litter until you couldn't see him at all.

I think this was the first time he got on the wheel. At that time I was thinking to myself that he's so tiny but the wheel so big.. who knew one day he became such a fat fluff ball haha.

And he really loves to eat those black or white nut thing... Not sure is it sesame seeds??

All grown up le. Momo was very tame. He wouldn't nibble or bite anyone at all. You could just feed him seeds or any food from your hand. I was blessed to have such a smart and well behaved little fellow.

Last picture of him... actually I took many photos of him but most of them are blur.. I was a really crap photographer afew years ago.. -_-

He will be one of the two hamsters I have kept in my life that I've always remember. Maybe more so than my robo Fatty hamsty because of how long he lived but as the years went by, he who was originally a fluffball became a skeleton and I guess its just because he was too old... tough to stay fat when you are that old.. but I still felt very sad everytime I looked at him and he was just all bones.. anyway I'm such he is in a much better place now. Hamster heaven or wherever that may be. At least he isn't restricted to a cage anymore. Rest in peace Momo.. I do love you so.

The most longest post I think I will ever make

2009-10-01T03:57:00.006+08:00

Its late at night now.. but I can't seem to fall asleep.

I just walked passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of myself. The sight I saw really scared me. For lack of a better word, I looked like death. Or maybe the walking dead. Probably looking like the zombies I always see in those movies I like to watch cause of my falling ill lately.

Haven't been able to sleep all that well since 2 days ago where after eating a simple brought back meal, I couldn't stop running to the toilet. To find myself hurdled over the sink clutching my stomach in pain wishing I could just die instead, to throw up again.. and again.. and again. Never in my whole life have I ever threw up so many times in one day and suffered so much pain everytime my stomach constrict and heave. I hope I never have to go through such torment again.

Not only did I kept hurling up repeatedly but I was struck with having diarrheoa too. WTF. It never rains but pours huh??

When finally my stomach seemed to give me a break, I woke up my mum to tell her I needed her to bring me to the vet. Yes, wtf. I was so delusional gone I said the vet. And maybe also cause I had been to the vet so many times lately it just seemed natural to say the vet. Anyway she understood what I meant.

In the end after what seemed like an eternity, she brought me down whereby I was walking as slow as possible, even worse than a tortoise cause I felt like I had been completely seeped of my strength and energy.. It seemed to take a whole lotta effort to lift each foot up and walk..

We only just came down the lift and was at the void deck when I saw my vision popping stars and growing black and I guess I must have wobbled or something cause mum asked me if I wanted to sit down. I stuck my hand out and grabbed hold of the nearest seat and promtly did just that.

Well, after that I felt like I was going to hurl and all that again and we had to go back up for me to do my thing.

When we came back down, mum had to hold onto one side of my arm while we lumbled to the clinic.. well I guess mostly just me lumbering. We waited so hell long for the doc that I almost blacked out on the chair there. In the end, I got a jab from the doc and a whole lotta gastric and stomach medicine. Which after taking makes my whole gastric and stomach feel stiff. Sounds weird? But thats exactly how it feels like. And if I so much as try to cough, it actually hurts that whole area.

I guess this is what happens when you don't take good care of your stomach and get gastric problems. You end up like me. Which is really a sad case to be.

Haiz.. Can't blame me for yakking so much since it's been quite a long while since I've blogged.. too many things have happened and problems just seemed to kept coming and coming.. actually they are very much still ongoing.

First off, I didn't have the time to blog because of the job post I took up. I loved my new job alot but the working hours were exhausting and contrary to what siao ding dong lady boss Jackie had said at my interview that the people working at the clinic were ' one big, happy family ', that was so not the case. ( That woman is seriously deluded. I wonder where she came to that conclusion. Anyway too bad for her that no one actually likes her and everybody thinks she's a bitch. I don't blame them. After all the times she scolded me for mistakes that other people made and still want me to smile when she is scolding me for fuck. Crazy lunatic. Pity Thiru for marrying her. )
There was so much work politics going on. In the end I lost my job because of it. Also because I refuse to suck up to people. ( Like basket case Jackie who disgraces all the christians with her stuck up attitude. Try and be more humble woman. And Melissa who is how old already but still childish enough to do stupid things like sabo me by putting customers records that I put on queue someplace else so that those poor people never get to see the vet. Grow up la! You're already married and got kid somemore! ) Especially people who expect me to suck up to them and yet do not deserve any decent respect because of the despicable way they act. Anyway as vet Vanessa said... there wasn't any unity in any of the people working at the clinic at all because the females ( except her that is ) were all too busy backstabbing each other backs. The males were left alone for some reason.

Actually I was picked on by Melissa the most. I think she was jealous of me or something? There wasn't any reason for her to dislike me except maybe cause vet Vanessa and vet assistant James got along really well with me. Better than with her. I guess she couldn't deal with the vet liking me more than her when I only been working there for slightly over a month whereas she's been working there over a year ( because I have never backstab the vet unlike her ) and so felt the need to oust me. Well bitch, you succeeded. And this is the kind of values you are going to pass on to your baby girl. You better hope someday, someone doesn't treat your daughter the way you treated me. Thank goodness your husband who is also working there doesn't see fit to sabo or backstab other people into losing their job. But I do believe what goes around, comes around. *cue justin timberland's song in all corniness*

Anyway, after losing my job my two babies kept falling ill one after another.. actually before that they were already sorta sick so I guess the job lost came kinda timely cause it gave me the chance to take care of them 24/7. Which I've been doing till now.

First Juu had diarrhoea. Then skin disease. Then Bian suddenly had fever and flu. Then Juu eye had some problem and wouldn't seem to get well even after seeing three vets. Two from AMK and one from AAVC. All three vets coudn't find anything wrong with her eye and kept giving me stronger and stronger eyedrops.

One night I found Juu rubbing her infected eye viciously until it looked like the insides of her eyes came out. Terrified I rushed her down to mount pleasant hospital and the vet there found that there was a giant ulcer covering more than half of her eye! Was told that the stronger eyedrops all had steriods which made the ulcer a whole lot worse. Had to watch over Juu 24/7 for two weeks more till her eye recovered..

After that one month salary all gone to the cats medical bills but alas! More medical bills to pay as both babies got diarrhoea from a parasite from another kitty I was taking care of when I thought my own cats were finally well. All because another stupid vet ( why I can't seem to find a good vet one??? )told me that the kitty I was taking care of didn't have ANY parasite and so nothing from him was contagious. From then now, they coudn't eat back their regular food and have to eat sensitive diet food permanently ( I'm still trying to find the right sensitive diet ).. And now Bian can't stop sneezing and wheezing even though I've been feeding her her meds.. And I think I will have to bring her back again for a review..

Haiz.. I just want my cats to be well again.. and happy.. and not needing to feed them meds anymore because they don't like it and I don't like doing things that makes them unhappy. Is that so hard???

Away again for some time...

2009-06-24T22:51:00.004+08:00

I won't be blogging in the next few days... Why?

Because I won't be in singapore for some time. I'm going on a 'last' enjoyment trip before I officially start work.

Still can't really believe that I was able to get a job that is more than I could ever hope for. A job to do with animals.

I had given up all hope. I was going to accept that I may just have to settle being a beauty advisor or some other job.

Just when I had given up, I received an email saying that I had inquired just in time and a vacancy was available. Two days later, I went down to AMK Veterinary Surgery for my interview. I didn't expect much. Least of all to be hired on the spot. Even lesser than I would get a position like veterinary executive. Like a dream that was exactly what happened.

So here I am now. Still feeling like everything that is happening is so surreal. But I barely have the time to ponder over it.

Tomorrow I will be off someplace else and I will appreciate the days I have left before working life begins.

Cupcakes!

2009-06-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

Yes, I had the craving for them lately and so...

got myself some from Carnival and Co.!

The pretty box in which the cupcakes came in.

Okay I know the ribbon is upside down... its because I tied it.

Anyway when you open the box up.......

You'll see this!

So pretty right???

( I like the design on the two small cupcakes in the middle the most! )

See already, almost can't bear to eat them. Way too pretty.

Haha but the key word is almost.

They're a mixture of peanut butter and carrot cake flavors.

But when you open it up, the smell of peanut butter is so overwhelming.

Overall... taste wise was just average even though they looked really good. But I think the Sugar Fairy's cupcakes, although not the best looking, actually tasted much better than these ones.

Dreams

2009-06-21T01:47:00.001+08:00

So lately I've been having dreams again whenever I sleep.

My dreams come and go.

There will always be like a period where I dream alot or a period whereby I don't have any dreams at all.

I guess that's good in a way too because I think you don't really get as good of a sleep when you're dreaming.

Anyway so far, one of the dreams which I can remember had Rachel in it. She was at my place or something and it seemed like I was moving house? Then we were sitting somewhere talking and she told me Gin was gonna study music at NYP for 6 years. Wtf. So weird.

Then another involved Pisal. We were in a classroom and Mr Chee ( WTF WTF ) was teaching maths. He came and scold me because I didn't do my maths homework and I thought Pisal would help but instead he just ignored me. =(

Lol.

The last one I can remember is this dream where I was with a guy that looked like Adrian Pang. See? This is the result of watching too much Red Thread. Haha... Omg la.

And that's about it... for now.

Introducing Juu Juu!

2009-06-18T06:16:00.005+08:00

I never did say why I wasn't sleeping well...

Well, because I'm now a mummy of two! Yes, number 2 is here! Em, sorry... number 2 has a name. Pea helped come up wit it and it was to be Juu Juu!

Why Juu Juu? Its a secret but there is a special meaning behind it. =]

This is Juu Juu... ( everyone get ready to say awww now! =P )

She came back to her new home in my bag which acted as a make shift carrier.

At first she wailed real loud when I first put her in it. Guess she was pretty scared.

Then, after I got in the taxi, she settled down real fast and dozed off. =]]]

After awhile, she opened her little eyes and got a good look around.

I think she was also admiring the passing scenary from the taxi's windows.

And then, she turned towards me and started looking at me. So I stroked her tiny head and thought...

Hi little one! I'll be your new mummy for the next 20 years or so of your life! =D

She dozed off again after I continued to stroke her... guess it was soothing in a way.

Whee! Helicopter ears!

Last look at Juu Juu's cutie face before we finally reach home.

So what else is new?

2009-06-14T06:03:00.004+08:00

Hmmm... let's see.

Well, I manage to skin my thumb ( I hope the dent in it is not there to stay ), drop the fan on my leg ( which resulted in a giant blue black and a bruise ), and still remain sick all this while.( kinda hard to get well when you still have to do the housework, your parents keep buying food not intended for sick people to eat because they don't remember you're sick, and there are unhygenic bacteria infested creatures hanging around the house and I don't mean my cats! )

Oh yah, and there was this freaky big croachroach in my room. After I saw croachroach lava in my parent's bedroom.

Bianbian found it. I was lying on my bed using my pc as per normal and then she suddenly pounced on the blanket beside me. I thought she was just playing till I heard some sounds and saw something scuttering from the blanket to the corner of my bed and behide the cupboard. Waaaaaaaa! So scary!!!

Must be Mum's dogs never bathe so long till got croachroach come la cause they all so freaky smelly like fuck! Then I so suay their croachroach probably travelled from the masterbedroom to here one!

Sick again...

2009-06-12T06:33:00.009+08:00

Yes. It started with a sore throat then blossomed into some feverish flu shit.

I guess in a way I should have seen it coming. After all, the weather has been so bloody hot lately that I came on-ing and off-ing my air con like every few minutes.

Also I guess cause I haven't been sleeping well. Wake up like every few minutes too.

So in the end..... kenna sick.

But Pea made me this manuka honey thingy and wah! After like drinking one cup of that thing, my sore throat actually went away! Omg... so cool. I only wished I drank that miracle drink sooner.

Too bad it can't make my runny nose and feverish feeling go away too. Oh well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I was nibbling on this smoked salmon sandwich from Soupspoon and I bit on a bone! WTF!

Smoked salmon leh! Anybody who eats smoked salmon or raw salmon should know it is impossible to have bones one loh! Fuck sia. Maybe its a bone from another fish that dropped into the sandwich??? -_-"

The stupid sandwich...

Still can't beat the one at the dunno what store at plaza singapura.

Busy week

2009-06-10T05:03:00.016+08:00

Last week was pretty jam pack for me. I went out 3 days in a row ( I try to go out on alternate days so I don't feel so tired and cause I'm lazy too la ) and almost fainted from lack of sleep. Lol. Yes, my energy level really suck. I go out one outing, must recharge damn long one.

But it was worth it. I had fun. Its a rare thing for me to actually have fun. Maybe also cause I seldom go out.

I managed to meet up with my ex-classmate from san yu. I thought we were just school mates or something but then I found out from him that we were classmates. Wtf. My memory super fail sia. I think Pisal or Rachel may remember Ridwan.

Anyway, I met up with him and his friend downtown and we headed off for some drinks. Got me first taste of red wine and I couldn't stand the taste because I found it damn bitter. But I still sipped at it because his friend picked up the tab and even though I volunteered to pay my share, he wouldn't accept it. Such a nice guy.
Btw, he's malaysian too. Just like me.

Hung out and chit chatted with them till pretty late and we all had to take cab home. They told me that I would be taking the same cab with them because they were sending me back before heading to their own place, which I thought was super nice of them because while I stayed in yishun, their place was at aljunied.
Which is nowhere near yishun at all.

So touched la!

Haha but Ridwan friend so poor thing cause he got work the next day but despite that still accompany and talk with us till so late. So sweet.

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When I reach back I had this headache because of the alcohol but only managed to lay down for like a lame 3 hours before getting up to prepare to go out with the gals.

We were all late though. Wtf. Nobody managed to reach orchard at the arranged time we were suppose to meet. Lol.

Fel reach first. I arrived next.

While waiting for Siyu, we took afew pictures because it's been awhile since we last met.

When she came, the lot of us walked around town awhile before heading over to tcc to slack and grouse over life's suckiness. We were all having our own share of problems and it was pretty emo.

This is supposingly a emo shot of Fel but she is counting money. Wtf. I suck at taking candid shots. -_-

There is also a emo shot of Siyu but I think she will kill me if I post candid shots of her.

Last few pictures we took before we all had to leave. Haha, Fel's wearing her brand new hairband which I helped put on for her.

Stand alone picture of her that I took, in which Siyu and I thought she sorta looked like Alice in wonderland.

Only photo that missy took with us but I cut myself out because I looked so fugly in this shot.

Finally! After a long two weeks...

2009-06-06T02:24:00.004+08:00

I have finish setting up this blog!!! Woohoo!

Actually feel relieved of some sorts because it was so hard... Yes, for me it was difficult because I suck when it comes to doing html and stuff.

But lucky for me, Pea helped me lots. You won't believe the amount of days she spent on my blog. If not for her, I think I wouldn't even have thought of moving to blogspot.

But most of the main important stuff is done. At last. I haven't finish bringing over all my previous posts but it'll slowly be done eventually.

Kinda have alot to blog about too so not blogging for two weeks was harsh. Anyway I can blabber about anything I want to now and thats really great. =]

I'm pretty happy with how everything for this blog turned out and I love the banner tons. And the sidebar too because everything there was written by me. I took the longest time thinking what to say and put... but its so cool that Bianbian can now have her very own profile too! =D

Do feel free to give comments or suggestions about anything like the layout or banner... anything at all! I dunno whether people from blogspot are active in that way like vox but I guess I'll just have to see how things goes. Haha I do have vox to sorta fall back on but then I will miss being able to customise stuff.

Well, that's all for now. =]

It's this kind of parents that causes dysfunctional kids

2009-05-24T07:44:00.002+08:00

Amazing how my cat knows when I'm upset and can even do her best to comfort me whereas my sucky family don't do a shit. Not only is life the pits. They are the pits too.

The last round when my family upsetted me and hence the previous depressing post, I was sleeping cause that's much better than staying awake and feeling more depress, Bianbian actually came up to my bed and did her kneading thing on me. I forgot whether she was kneading my head pillow or my stomach. Anyway she rarely ever does that. It was only because I was so upset that day.

Just to wake up to see her happily kneading away and purring too. Lol. Can't help but smile at that. And I really do feel that each time she kneads, it is as if she is trying to tell me to feel better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm starting to really hate family outings. Today sucked so badly too because it seems to be too hard for my family to keep their foul mouth to themselves and not spoil my mood for once. It's like we can never even have a pleasant outing because they can't keep their big mouth shut. Hey I may sprout vulgarities that are obviously foul, but it takes much more 'talent' to be able to say things without any vulgarities yet sound so much more foul.

Funny how when I was young, mother was always saying this phrase, ' If you have nothing good to say, then don't say. ' Yah, people are always forever telling you stuff they themselves don't practise. Dunno why this is the case.

Must tell myself to avoid eating with them as much as possible. Never fail to spoil my appetite with their foul remarks about everything including me. I dunno why I eat food also must come and make me until so unhappy.

Eh, father? Do you feel happy after you open your stupid mouth and make your sarcastic comments mah? Do you feel even more happier when you are still making your foul remarks when I am trying my best to still continue eating and keeping my food down? Is that what you want? To make your own daughter so unhappy that you have officially ruin her appetite and her mood for the whole day??? Well, congrats. You never fail to achieve that.

Most of the times I really wish I could just yell at him and say ' Would it fucking kill you to keep your mouth shut and let me eat in peace for once!!! ' I guess that's too much to ask for.

Funny how he is so eager to please everybody except his own family. Own family never mind la can treat like shit ah. Make mother give him lots of money to gamble shares never mind la. Money drop from the sky mah. Huh money to gamble his shares more important than money wasted on food I didn't finish cause I got small appetite. Ask me to order kid's meal if possible.

Well, I'm fucking sorry if I wasted your precious money on a stupid bowl of noodles I couldn't finish, when you could have used that money to go and 'invest' in your fucking shares again k!!! I will try to never eat food when you are around and da pao my food home so I don't waste your fucking money and eat everything up can???

Life is the pits

2009-05-17T12:13:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wish I could just give up. But life still goes on. Even when you are at the pits, it still goes on.
I told Pea what I would give to be able to start all over again. I said I would even give my soul. It doesn't have to be at the beginning. It just has to be before all the abuse started.
Then maybe I would have had a normal life. Instead of only wishing for a normal one.
I know that when you fall down... you are suppose to pick yourself up.
But maybe when you've fallen too many times... you don't want to get up anymore.

At moments like these, I feel very tired of life.. of everything.. when all the nightmarish times of being abuse comes back.
I keep wonder how unfair it is that the victims suffer so much but the abusers live their life carefreely.

The only thing that keeps me hanging on...

is this face.

Even if everyone left me. She'll be right be my side.

When I look at her and she looks back at me and makes her squirrel sounds, it is the only thing that comforts me.

All grown up now

2009-05-13T07:20:00.001+08:00

Think it was back in jan or feb when Bianbian decided to mature into a lady cat at 11 months old and started her awful yowling.

I could barely catch any sleep during that period. She has always been more active at night and when she was in heat it was even worse because she would be wailing throughout the whole night and I kept getting up to sayang her. To me even though I was so tired it was still alright because nothing is more important than her. Not even my beauty sleep. Lol.

But then I felt like she was very poor thing because she was yowling and crying so pitifully everyday. So I decided to sent her to the vet to get her sterilised...

So I sent her to this geylang pet clinic. Which was a utter disaster. She was in such a poor state when I went to fetch her back home. My baby looked soggy, her fur was messed up and she smelled bad. Apparently they told me that she shitted and peed while they were doing the surgery thats why her fur so dirty and smelled bad. Then cannot wipe her with a warm towel or something ah??? Or at least clean her up a little. My poor Bianbian. Trust them with my cat then still dare to give her back to me in this state.

It was my mistake to bring her there and I should have brought her to the ava clinic near my house. I believe the shorty vet there would have handled her better.

So that day when I brought her home, because she looked so poor thing, I put her in the ikea pet bed that was meant for mum's dogs.

She doesn't look soggy and messed up here because I kept wiping her down with warm towels as I couldn't bathe her after the surgery. Before cleaning her, her white socks had turned into yellow socks. Wtf. I had to wipe her paws like a million times before they started looking white again.

I think because her abdomen hurt and she felt pain, so she kept changing sleeping positions. Ke lian. It was so heart pain to see her like that. =(

It's not visible in the pictures but her lower abdomen is totally shaved and her arm was not spared either. They shaved a part off and I didn't even noticed it till afew days later. -_-"

Thank goodness her beautiful fur has all grown back now. And she has totally recovered from that incident. =D

Lesson learnt. Never go to the clinic for pets at Geylang ever again!

Bianster cuteness

2009-05-11T00:16:00.008+08:00

Hehe the wonders of carrying forward your post as taught by Pea. Comes in hand when I am too lazy to blog.

Anyway, who can get tired of looking at Bianbian huh. =P

Haha cute right? This was when she haven't gone for sterilisation yet and so, her fur is still nice looking instead of looking destroyed.

Almost getting too big to fit in my lap. I miss the time when she was tiny.
So much easier to hold. Now so fat cannot cradle like baby anymore.
If only cats could stay kitten size. Haha then suit me more since I'm so much like a dwaft. Wtf.

Gu Gu the Cat

2009-05-08T04:04:00.000+08:00

I don't know if it is just me but this few days I find that my vision is blurry? Like there is a invisible fog.

I keep dropping eye drops but it doesn't seem to be clearing up... I hope this doesn't mean my eyesight is deteriorating... after going through the traumatising horror experience that is Lasik.. maybe I should go check on my eyes soon.

I'm trying to sleep now but I can't. First reason is that I keep thinking about so many things... and second is because it is so fucking hot that I got a neck ache after laying down. Then when I get a neck ache, it will soon progress into a headache. Bloody sian. I miss my lousy air con! =(((

Come on man it isn't that I'm high maintenance but when you have hair as long and as thick as mine... then you'll understand.

Anyway. Since I am up with neck ache and headache I might as well talk about the first cat movie I have ever gotten to watch! So excited.

I think it is the only cat movie I know of in my whole life? Besides Garfield. But he's not even a real cat so that doesn't count la.

Why people don't make more cat movies??? Why always making stupid dog ones instead??? So bias la. Argh.

Anyway... I watched Gugu the Cat on youtube. ( Yes I am a shitty person for not supporting it by watching it in the cinemas! * looks down shamefully * But I think it was lucky I didn't because I kept crying throughout the whole show... even when they weren't showing a sad scene I was still crying. Wtf. -_-" I am a basket case. )

I think this is the cover photo for the movie? So cute right?? But which kitten isn't I guess...

The main lead in the show is about this woman call Asako who is a comic artist whose cat named Saba died. Then she becomes all depressy because the cat has been with her for very long.

I found the way they made Saba died so corny. Before she dies, she became a human gal and said bye to her mistress as a ghost or something.

Cat then cat mah. Why must the cat become a human after it dies?? Cheyer.

Yah, so she goes to a pet shop and buys this new kitty to fill up the emptiness that she feels after her cat's death.

Actually I think the way she found Saba more meaningful because Saba was a stray kitten.

This is the main character with Gu Gu! At least the kitty has a really cute name. Haha I want to call my future kitty Gu Gu too!

And this was when she first brought Gu Gu home. Kinda susprise to know that in japan, apparently when you buy a kitten, they put the kitten in a box that has handles for you to hold onto to carry it home.
I thought only small rodents get put into a box... @_@

More cute pictures of Gu Gu.

The story then goes on to involve the life of her assitant, Naomi. And her love interest Seiji who strikes me as a sorta obnoxious kinda person and I don't like him.

This is Naomi sleeping on the couch with Gu Gu. In the show, she is woken up by Gu Gu humping her leg. Which is the only hint in the show that tells you Gu Gu is a boy unlike Saba.
But I don't really think that male cats hump loh. They are not as perverted as dogs.

My most favourite scene! =D

When Naomi visits Asako who is in hospital, and she opens her jacket to have Gu Gu's cute chubby head pop out. Look at that face! Awww...

Near the end of the story, Asako gets cervix cancer and she thinks she is going to die until she can even dream about meeting and having a talk with Saba... in her human form of course which still icks me to no end. I would rather see the cat with speech bubbles on top of its head.

This angmoh guy in the show who is suppose to be a Shinigami ( Death God ) is the one who brings her to see her cat to have her supposingly 'last talk' before she dies.

But she never die la. Then at the end of the story, the meaning behind her cat's name is revealed cause during the whole story she don't want to tell anyone what Gu Gu means.

And I think this must be like the worse part of the whole show. Lol. Seriously. Because the name is revealed by this really corny song that is sung in the ending.

Anyways...... turns out Gu Gu means....... Good Good. Lol.

Painful eyeballs

2009-05-05T18:10:00.000+08:00

Last night I was playing with Bian with this new toy I got back for her from malaysia.

It was one of those cat things where you hold this stick and a toy mouse would be dangling from a string attached to one end of it.

Just like this

Anyway turns out she likes this toy out of all the toys I got back for her.

So I flung the mouse out like how people do when they fish and Bian grabbed hold onto the mouse with her teeth.

Anxious that she would bite the string away so she could run away with the mouse, I quickly yak hard on my end of the stick.

Only to have the mouse come flying back to hit me hard on both eyeballs. Wtf. I don't even get how a thing so small can hit me on both my eyeballs. The size of it, should just be right for one. Unless it bounced off one eyeball and then hit the other. -_-"

Then there was this undescribable intense pain. I just hoped at the moment I wasn't going to go blind for such a stupid action.

After I was done clutching at my eyes, I tried to open them and my vision was blurrier than usual. Wtf. And since it still hurt quite badly I decided it was better to go and sleep. As if there was anything else I could do. Argh.

The culprit!

Chuchu finally realises she is not alright

2009-05-03T23:45:00.001+08:00

I did some research today on why abuse victims go back to their abusers and found some articles that helped me understand things better.

I decided to just put some of the links here for myself to refer to.

http://www.enotalone.com/article/4113.html

I have been wondering a long while now whether I am alright psychologically and mentally and after reading afew articles I think I may not be alright at all.

It is hard for myself to understand why I keep going back to an abuser but I think I understand it all a little better now.

I think one of the reasons why is cause I feel rejected back home... rejected by my family... I don't really feel like I am loved or supported there... I think thats why?

Its kinda hard to be analysing your ownself when you are the one sick. I guess it is sorta like a blind person trying to see?

I found this really good article on abusive relationships and the writer of the article names the abuser as ' losers ' in his article.

I do not really expect anyone to read these articles because it is very long and it is not something that affects them so the articles are mainly for myself as reference. To know what is wrong with me. And maybe how to seek help.

http://www.drjoecarver.com/3/miscellaneous2.htm

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/women/page6.html

And this paragraph quote I took from somewhere that I feel that I can really relate to.

"I only wanted you to be happy." Really? Yes, perhaps that's true. You wanted me
to be happy 'owned' by you. You wanted me to be happy without any 'life' left in
me. You wanted me to be happy in giving up my world and dying for you. You
wanted me to be happily enslaved by you. If you truly wanted me to be happy,
then why do you rule me, abuse me, hold me prisoner, use me, keep me? Why do you
make me needy? Why do you steal all my options, all my freedom, all my
independence, so I have to be totally dependent on you? Why do you deprave
me of the very air I need to breathe? Why have you crushed my spirit? Why am I
an empty shell where there once was life? Was not your point to enslave me
psychologically? To have absolute and unrestricted control over
me? To annihilate my self-esteem so I wouldn't leave you? To
become more manageable of me?"

A glimmer of sunlight

2009-05-02T21:47:00.001+08:00

What's the ugliest thing in the world to you?

To me...

Its human nature. Nothing can be uglier than that.

I am no saint.

But what some people can do or say...

It really stuns me.

I am not a good person.

But there are many others who are much worse than me.

Isn't it ironic that people are so much more smarter than animals...

And yet they behave so much more worse than them.

And this is the life we are to live.

How disheartening.

I have a jaded view of life. Most of what I think and see is always dark to me and seldom does sunlight come through.

A little bit of sunlight came through the other day though.

Constantly seeing the ugly nature of people everyday, it was a refreshing change for once.

He is just a old man. He works at one of the hawker stalls. When he brings the food to people, he can just take the money they give, say thanks and just walk away.

Instead, without fail, I always see that he smiles a big genuine smile and makes small talk with people hoping to brighten their day with a joke or entertain them so that they too end up with a smile on their face.

I am glad that there are still people with a good heart out there.

I want a soulmate too

2009-04-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

Don't feel like posting any pics today... Feeling depress over a million things.

And I got one habit.

That is when I'm moody or sad, I will on what I deem sad depressing songs to listen to. Haha, I dunno why? I guess it is just natural to listen to sad songs when you are sad. Can't be listening to happy songs when sad right. So weird.

I read audrey's blog and she was talking about being blessed enough to find not one but two soulmates. One is her bbf and another her current bf.

Really you can't help but feel envious of people like that.

I don't have such luck like her. I never met anyone, whether a girl or a guy in my life who really understood me. Who could accept me just the way I am. Someone who just gets me without me having to say a word. Who was always there for me in good times and bad. Someone I can describe as 'a piece of clay in heaven which was supposed to make one girl but god chopped that clay into half and made two.' ( Quote taken from fourfeetnine. )

I hope though, that I will be blessed enough to meet such a person one day. I don't want to be like one of those people who never get to meet their soulmates even throughout their whole lives. =(
For now... its just you and me. * looks over at bianbian *

Ragamuffin kittens and a fat cat

2009-04-27T07:45:00.005+08:00

I want this toy! It is even pink colour!

So fun sia. I think Bianbian would really like it? Or maybe she will just get bored of going round and round, lol.

And look at this ragdoll cat in this video...

Thank goodness Bianster is nothing like that. Otherwise when she jumps on me, I think you would have to call me bian instead.

Oh and a susprise may just come in a month's time! Or maybe not if things don't go well. =/

Pictures of Bian from down under. =)))

This is one of her fave sleeping spots cause she gets to look out the window and see the world go by. I'm just laying on the bed below her.

A closer look at her owl face.

Finally I decided not to be so lazy and to get up to take this pic.

Pet Society

2009-04-26T07:49:00.005+08:00

Pea told me Mum went and peeped at some stuff somebody brought over for me, even though she knows it is my stuff.

Even though I am not even there to give my permission for her to snoop around my personal belongings. She told me not to be pissed about it too.

But still... I was pissed. Actually am still pissed off.

Because I hate people who have no respect for other people's privacy. Since young though she has always been like that and you would have thought I would have gotten used to it by now... But no. I am still not used to it. I still get fucking piss off whenever I know she has been snooping around. It is just plain fucking rude.

And hey, people who can bring themselves to snoop around other people's stuff without their permission are also most likely people you can't trust. This I find so very true.

Really, it is amazing my family can still find ways to agitate me even though I am not even home. No wonder I fucking hate that place. I think before I'm even old, I would have already died from stroke/ heart attack from high blood pressure OR from breathlessness caused by her bloody monsters. Because instead of having fresh air inside my lungs, it will be clogged full of her dog's hair. Now that would be a sight.

I don't see how she can still keep those worthless monsters despite Pea and me having all kinds of health problems because of them. Can't she just give them away and get a hypoallergic dog for goodness sake? How can her stupid dogs be more important than her children? Isn't the fact that her dogs can cause a asthma attack bad enough? Sometimes I wish I could faster die from my breathlessness just so my parents would feel sorry. Then maybe they will give the stupid creatures away and Pea could have a better life too and won't have to suffer at that unbearable place.

Ah, forget it... Think about it make me feel so tulan. Everyday like will have things to be pissed about one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I saw POSB Cat. Too bad everytime I see him, always don't have my camera with me. He is so cute. Always 'guarding' the POSB atm one. And he is the first cat who pudge me. Lol, people who don't play dota won't understand what I mean.

Since I don't have pictures of POSB Cat, I shall put up pictures of my pet in Pet Society!

Ta da!

Haha, cute mah? Don't really have enough cash to get her better clothes but I think this isn't too bad? Looks quite nice already ba. Notice her cute bunny slippers?

Her name is Chu.

This was the very first furniture I bought after I had more cash. Before that, my poor pet only had a fugly chair ( which I sold because it was just too fucking ugly ) and a lousy tv. Those come free when you start playing the game.

Now she has a nice bed to sleep on! =D

See how happy she looks? Hahaha. =P

Twisted

2009-04-25T06:20:00.002+08:00

Ironic really... how some people told me that no matter what we were going to be friends forever and to promise I would never leave them.

I did.

But in the end, they chose to leave me instead.

It is fine, because I won't judge people for the choices that they make. Even though I may not neccesarily understand why.

Anyway, what did I expect when life was never simple for me. It had always been rather complicated. Even when other children were having simple childhoods, I had a rather twisted one.

Were you a victim of a bully? No? I didn't think so.

Did you have other little girls constantly plotting how to stab you in the back? No? I didn't think so.

Did you have best friends who actually saw you as a enemy and were always finding ways to fuck up your life? No? I didn't think so.

Maybe that's why I turned out the way I did. Sorta twisted in a way.

~~~~~~~

All my life I've been judged by people. They either decided I was this really nice person they could take advantage of, or I was this snobbish stuck up person they would never like.

But really, who were they to judge me?

Because of this, I am grateful that I have found a rare few people in my life who have never judged me by what I did or did not do.

Anyway, I think I have gone on babbling in the last few posts too much and still have alot of pictures that I have not posted up. Some dating back to chinese new year. Wtf.

So, pictures up in the next post. =)))

A New Layout and Boring Rambling Thoughts...

2009-04-23T08:24:00.002+08:00

Woke up to bianster face meowing at me. Lol, which is actually not a bad thing to wake up to. ( Unless it is at night and you see some black black thing looking at you then it may be quite scary. )

Sometimes though, esp in the night, she keeps meowing and I think she wants attention or someone to play with her? But yah, like normal human I am sleeping. ( What??? I can be normal ok?? Wtf. ) Poor thing. Hopefully she will have a companion soon to pei her at night when she is lonely. It will be good too when I go to work and there is a kitty friend to keep her accompany while I'm gone.

~~~~~~~

Anyway, I decided to just change my whole layout since my previous one doesn't want to work, and I can't stand looking at a buggy layout.

I removed the tagboard too because I thought maybe the html may have screwed my layout and Pea suggested changing to her tagboard.

Wahliao eh, her tagboard is so fucking exclusive that it apparently allows only a certain amount of people to sign up for it. Diao. -_-"

So I didn't make the cut, some sort of, and had to submit my email to them and just wait till they have space for me. First time sia, I have to wait to register for something. Amazing.

~~~~~~~

Besides that... I also took down links of my blog. So much for being able to meet more cat people. Lol. Yah but anyway, for now just take it down la just in case I go and blabber bout some offending stuff. Then another big woohoo happens. For all the common sense in the world, I lacked the common sense to block my bitchy comments out. Sorry ah, I was born afew lightbulbs short. Lol.

*Rambling thoughts alert*

Lots of thoughts swimming in my head since yest... whether it was really right or wrong of me to just show whoever comes here all of my bitchiness. Haha, and yes... for those who don't know, I can be a really bitchy person. >.<

Although Pea did tell me that it IS my blog after all and I should be able to write whatever I want. Then I thought that yah that is true, but then I should still be considerate of people's feelings. But at the same time if I kept thinking about everybody's feelings and who will get hurt by what I say... then I would have to post stuff which I didn't really feel.

Then really, what would be the point of this outlet for me? If I had to mask all my comments and make everything nice, then I would be wanting a popularity blog for superficial people to come here and make nice happy comments too. No, I didn't make this for anybody. I made this blog for me.

Ironically, I have been told that I put on a mask for people in real life but yet in here, show a very different side of me. The part of me in real life, isn't a mask, but just another side of me. Often what you are seeing, is just the nice side. Here though, you get to see the very worst. Wtf huh.

Just suddenly remembering one part of what Regina told me... that posting bitchy mean comments about a friend on the net would never be something that she could do. At that moment I think I told her it was cause I was angry with some of the stuff she did. Which is true.

But I felt like I was missing something. I know what it is now. I could do what may seem like such a horrible unfathomable thing to her, simply because... I am not her. There will be stuff that she can do, that I would never do. Likewise, there will be things, faults or mistakes I make that she herself will never do..

And my trail of thoughts ends there...

Read at your own risk

2009-04-22T09:54:00.002+08:00

This is for certain people who read my blog and saw things that I said that offended them. Be it whether they still come and see my blog or choose to never come here again, what I have to say is specially for them.

Know that this is not only just a blog to me but also very much like my personal diary. It is an outlet for me to vent whatever frustrations I have and express whatever I am feeling, whether it is anger, sadness or just random stuff like poking fun at people I dislike. And just like a diary, the stuff I say may be extremely personal.

Usually most of the stuff I say out here, are when I feel frustrated or pissed off or have no one else to tell them too. And obviously, I am not a nice person when I am angry. Likewise the words that come out of my mouth when I am angry aren't very nice either. Mostly what I'll say would be really mean or bitchy stuff, stuff that normally I wouldn't go around saying to people face. Because all I want to do is to get every frustration, every pissed up feeling I have, out here. I guess by posting it here, is really equivalent to saying it to people's face, and I should just make my whole blog private. But I don't really want to have to do that.

You may find though, that the way I talk about people is really crude or insulting. But it is, simply, just the way I talk when I am pissed off with something. I guess only my sis would know how vulgar I am when I am agitated by something. Then I would rant like some crude ah lian off to her and I think even she cannot stand my many unpleasant words. Lol. Thks ah for tahan-ing me.

I guess rarely has anyone really heard me ranting like how I truely do because often to friends I am another person. I am a different person to different people. Only cause not everyone can accept me for what I really am or some parts of me. So you just have to change to suit that person. Haha, lost already? I guess this reasoning is not for everyone to understand but only a handfull of people.

Anyway, everyone has their own demons and mine... they come out here in my blog. Lol. So, if you happen to not like what you're seeing, then I would think it best that you don't read anything I say here at all. Because this will ultimately still be my outlet for ranting, bitching, venting just about anything that is on my mind.

P.S. I still do apologize to those that I offended with my content, and apologize to those that I may offend in the future. But hey, at least I warned ya. ^_*

I wanna play Pet Society leh!!!

2009-04-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

Waaaaaaaaaa! Fuck la! Why my com so kennasai one??? Damn bloody hard to play pet society on facebook loh. Cause it is so fucking lag and slow... even worse then when I'm playing dota sia. Boohoohoo... but I wanna play with my pet and buy lots of pink stuff for her! Haiz... sian la. Stupid com. So lousy can't even play a stupid game. Haiyo and I keep restarting my cb com in the hopes that it will be able to work better but no use! Ultimate sianess la. =(

Never mind, I will attempt to play it again later... hopefully with better results this time.

And besides that, the air con also don't wanna work today! Fuckkkkkkk la... So hot already I wanna die and the cb air con don't work. Fuck you air con and this whole stupid house! What? I damn tulan ok? I think today is another suay day or what, keep on having suay stuff happen and the whole day haven't over yet. ( Em, little did I know how right I was. ) =((

Yah, and I receive empty email from Tg. Dunno what is up with that?? But it creeps me out. And he also suddenly add me on facebook but no pictures whatsoever on his facebook account, it looks like a newly created account. Last time I still remember him saying that he closed his friendster account cause feel sian and no point, then now come and make a facebook account. Then why bother to cancel the friendster one in the first place if what he wanted was to see whats up with me. Diao la. One of the many examples of him saying one thing but doing another.

Not enough my malaysia trip should suck so badly, come back still got all this stuff to deal with. Haiyo. Yah la I know, never rains but pours.

Haiz. Then dunno why after I spent the longest time creating such a nice cbox, it doesn't want to appear on my blog la! Then I keep trying to change the html here and there, it still doesn't work so I gave up and made a shoutbox instead. Jeez.

Oh wow. Now my blog also got problem. I can't see the layout. It is all fucked up. What the hell is wrong with my com ah?? Wahliao. I feel like go and bang my head somewhere or smashing this fucked up pc on the wall.

Home 'Sweet' Home

2009-03-23T07:55:00.004+08:00

I'm home! At last I'm home. This should be a good thing but man I am so not looking forward to seeing the useless old man around the house again. Sianess. Not to forget the wretched dogs. These two things are what makes me hate this place the most. Among afew other things.

I'm sure in days to come, it will only get more sickening but guess this is life. Can't do a shit about it.

~~~~~~~

Liz smsed again. This time her sms says: Hello. I Am Warded In Hospital Again. I Am Having A Relapse Schema. Visit Me And Bring Me Balloons! Ward 7B, Bed 32.

Wtf. Buan paiseh one this girl. Can't believe her skin is so mega thick.

Is like to me, I think if people came to visit me in hospital I would appreciate the effort they made just to come see me. And it wouldn't matter if they bought anything for me.

But every single time she is admitted to hospital, she can just ask me and her other friends to get her a balloon. And it can't just be any plain balloon. No, she picks out the one that she likes. Which is usually this big expensive balloon.

Actually it is not so much about the money, but the fact that she is always making me buy or spent money on her without any consideration for me? And I can never forget the times when she was with afew of her ex bfs who weren't very rich and would borrow money from me every now and then. I don't mind lending money to friends in need. But it is a different thing when a 'friend' borrows from you and never returns. Really, what kind of friend is that?

There were other times when she was in the hospital again and knowing I was coming to see her, would ask me to help buy her cigarettes. That was fine with me but after afew times of doing the same thing, I realise she would conveniently just take whatever she asked me to help her buy and that would be it. What was I?? A fucking atm machine???

~~~~~~~

Ahhhhh. Ok I need to stop thinking about all the unhappy things.

Anyway, I didn't put up pictures of the chio $1200 kitty from pet tales yet. So here they are.

Haha, he is really cute right? I think the pricetag for him is worth it, if only to see this adorable face everyday. Too bad he has some attitude issues. That is just so much like a typical guy.

Oh yah, his tongue is sticking out not cause I squash his face like that but cause I was stroking him then it just suddenly popped out. Lol. Damn cute la.

Hehe, one last picture of him. Awww... why you got attitude problem one?? If not I surely bring you home. Ah, too bad la.